


Always the little boy who couldn't keep it to yourself

by sandyk



Series: with the sun in my eyes Surprise! [6]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Pepper Potts Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker has PTSD, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter's pretty miserable, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:02:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23737285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: Everyone finds out Peter is Tony's kid, including Pepper, May, Tony and Peter. People try their best to do what's right. Which is why they're all so miserable.(Necessary to read the previous installments.)
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: with the sun in my eyes Surprise! [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701469
Kudos: 60
Collections: Trope Bingo: Round Fourteen





	Always the little boy who couldn't keep it to yourself

**Author's Note:**

> For the trope bingo square accidental hero. Title from a camp's algebra. not mine, no profit garnered. Thanks A!!!!
> 
> Peter has a panic attack midway through the story.

As he put his key in the lock, Peter was thinking about MJ at lunch and how she was still broken up about Tyler getting a job with a touring company and also Ned had a girlfriend now, Betty, so it was funny how MJ and Peter were miserable singles and Ned was the happy one. He was thinking about Ned and smiling and he turned his key. 

He hadn't been paying any kind of attention to what was around him because he would have been able to hear that Mr. Stark and Pepper Potts were in the living room, they looked awful. They were both so pale and drawn. May was standing farthest away and she didn't look too great either. Peter's anxiety was spiking. He said, "What's, what's going on?"

May said, "Peter. It's okay."

Peter backed up a step. This seemed really bad. 

Mr. Stark said, "Okay, here we go. Remember when I said we were going to look into your background while we tested your abilities and blood?"

"I told you I didn't want that," Peter said. "I told you not to." His voice was shaking. 

"Yes, you did, but what we did was a basic ancestry look, and the look -" Mr. Stark paused. He swallowed and stared at Peter with something in his eyes that made no sense. Then he said, "Because you're mine, my son."

"He died," Peter said. "That's not me."

"No, it's you," Pepper Potts said. "There's DNA." She was on the verge of tears. 

"No, it's not."

May walked over to Peter and hugged him. He closed his eyes and hugged her back. May said, "It's true, Peter. I don't know DNA like you do, but you know it's true."

He didn't open his eyes or let go. "How, how do you spend a year with me and not recognize I'm your kid? I'm not."

Mr. Stark said, "It's been ten years. I thought my son, he was dead. I've actually spent a long time in therapy and other venues learning to not look in people's faces and trying to see… The bone scan and the medical records we've dug up show you were, your jaw was broken in a few places. It healed but your face changed."

Peter was shaking. He said, "My mom didn't know."

Pepper Potts said, "Mary, your mom Mary. She didn't know at all. The people running that school, they didn't know. No one knew. No one who's here is to blame."

May let go. Peter said, "What are you going to do? Are you gonna make me leave here?" 

May said, "No. We already talked about this. No one wants to take you away from here. It's okay, Peter, this is going to be okay."

"Absolutely," Mr. Stark said. "We'll share custody. But we'd never, we won't try to ruin your life or whatever you're picturing."

"Okay," Peter said. He sunk down and squatted on the floor. His head hurt. "What now?"

Pepper Potts said, "Now we all get a good night's sleep and we'll see you tomorrow." She squatted down next to him and reached out to touch him. Her hand shook a little but then she rubbed his shoulder. "We'll see you tomorrow."

Mr. Stark made the same awkward gesture while Peter tried very hard not to flinch. 

Peter waited until they were all the way gone and started crying. He felt like an asshole. May just hugged him. She said, "You know, this is the best version of my worst nightmare."

Peter sniffled. "How does that work?"

"I always had this nightmare, this horrible idea that you would have parents who were alive, and they would be rich and they would just take you from us, from me and Ben and then just me. And they would be horrible parents, didn't care about you, wouldn't let me see you. This is much better than that," she said. 

Peter wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Did you know about that place Mary took me from?"

May looked at him with a small smile. "I'm not a complete idiot. I know you're Spider-man, too. Again, not an idiot. It's sweet, in a way, you hiding things. But you're horrible at lying. And Ned is even worse. MJ, though, she's good."

"She's really sad about breaking up with Tyler," Peter said. He inhaled and exhaled. "Do we really have to do this?"

"Yes," May said. "Yes, you have parents. Who love you and want you and didn't give you up. And aren't taking you away from anything." She sighed. "It's not great, I know. It's not great for us. This is hard. But things will get better."

"I just want you," Peter said. "I don't need more parents."

"Well, you got them now." May rubbed his back. "I don't know what we do now. I mean, literally. Do you want to order pizza? God, I could use some pizza."

Peter could feel himself starting to panic and shut down. Instead he said, "You really knew about the Spider-man, me being Spider-man?"

"Peter," May said. "Ned talks very loudly. And then your costume kept getting more and more improved every week you had that Stark internship --"

"It's not a costume, it's a suit," Peter said. 

"Okay," May said. 

"But aren't you worried about me? Like I get hurt and stuff."

"I'm not thrilled about it and I worry all the time," May said. "But you wouldn't stop, would you?"

"No," Peter said. 

"Yup," May said. "It's a little funny that you actually told me all about it three hours after you had sex for the first time but, hey, Spider-man, keep me in the dark."

"I always tell you good news," Peter said. "I loved Liz, it was a good thing."

May laughed. "That's the kind of thing people hide from their parents. Not being a super hero."

"Well, I don't like hiding from you," he said. "Let's have pizza and pretend everything's okay."

"Everything is okay," May said. "We need to adjust and there's a lot to take in right now, but everything is okay."

The next morning, May called him in sick at school and they drove to some place in Manhattan. First there was lawyers and discussion. Tony and Pepper still seemed really strained, on the edge of breaking. He understood, he really did. A month ago, Tony had sat with Peter after a flashback, and talked about losing his kid. And now here he was, Tony's little kid come back to life. 

Peter didn't really want to participate in anything. 

They didn't really need him to. It was mostly just negotiations. Custody, how they were planning to settle all the legal confusion. Peter was getting back his real social security number, an all new birth certificate. They let him decide about his name. They asked him. He didn't want a new name. It was the only name he remembered. But May told him to be open. He didn't want to give up any of it. He said, "Maybe Stark as a second middle name?"

"Okay," the nice lawyer lady said. She smiled. "That seems fine." Everyone nodded and Peter went back to staring at his fingers. 

Then they went to another building and into a different room, and an actual judge and stenographer read over things and made judgements. It was a blur the minute after it was over, like when Ben died. 

After a very late lunch, May ushered Peter into another room. This time it was Dr. Kenarke, just Dr. Kenarke. He said, "Hey, Peter. I heard you're having a day. Tony thought it would be good if you had someone to talk to who wasn't involved."

"Aren't you? You work for Tony," Peter said. He kind of just wanted to talk, but he also couldn't imagine opening his mouth and letting everything out.

"Tony pays me, but you're my patient." 

"I'm a minor, though, doesn't that mean I don't have confidentiality?"

Dr. Kenarke actually smiled. Like he was happy and not threatened that Peter was asking questions. He said, "Only if you're about to harm yourself or others. I promise you if I'll tell you if I think I need to break our confidentiality. Okay?"

"Okay," Peter said. "Okay." Then he stared at his hands for a little while. Dr. Kenarke could wait him out, he'd proved that more than once. 

Then he gave in and started talking. Nothing about it made him actually feel better. 

The worst part of the day was that he was supposed to leave with Pepper and Tony. But he couldn't fight it so he went. May had packed his bag and gave him his backpack as well. He definitely cried a little hugging her goodbye. He knew it was rude and hurtful. Dr. Kenarke said he was allowed to express himself. 

Then he got in Tony's car. He put on his seatbelt and hugged his backpack. He mumbled, "Sorry."

"No, it's okay," Tony said. "We get it. I'm, I'm searching for a joke here and I got nothing. Give me a few minutes."

Pepper said, "You're off school tomorrow, too, but then back on Monday. I don't know if you were paying attention, but going forward, it's three days with us, three days with May. So after school on Monday you go to May's, then Thursday after school, Happy will pick you up." She pressed her lips together. 

"Okay," Peter said. 

"This isn't a joke, but I'm still working on it. You've got a half hour on the phone with Dr. Kenarke every day for the next two weeks. So you can vent, cry. Whatever. Talk about the Mets. Then you work out with him how many times you guys want to meet," Tony said. "Also not a joke, but if you could look a little less like we murdered your puppy, it would be nice. You decide. Not dictating your emotional response. So I guess never mind."

"Sorry," Peter said. "Can I talk to Ned and MJ?"

"Of course you can," Pepper said. "Are you asking if you can talk about all this?" Peter nodded. She said, "Okay, you weren't paying attention when we talked about this, I understand." She exhaled. "You can tell anyone you want, Peter. We can go over it again tomorrow."

"Okay," Peter said. 

They got to the Tower. Peter stood slightly apart from the two of them in the elevator. Pepper touched his shoulder to guide him to his room. It was a very nice room, but pretty generic. Except for a painting over the bed. He said, "That's cool."

"That's your birth mother," Pepper said. "She painted that. Her name was Iris Dawson. She and Tony met the first time he went to rehab. She passed away three months after you were born. Actually, she overdosed. It was her cousins that, they were the ones who kidnapped you. And left you for dead. But." She pressed her lips together again. Then she said, "We have all her paintings. We bought them. I bought them, frankly. I thought maybe you'd like it."

"I do," Peter said. "Thank you." He sat down on the bed and stared at the colors and brushstrokes. He wondered what MJ would think of it. 

He unpacked his bag and backpack. Aunt May had somehow snuck his books from Mary. She knew it was important. He put them under his pillow. 

He finally facetimed MJ and Ned. He started with, "Please don't interrupt, let me get this out, because it's a lot."

They both reacted exactly as he would have predicted. Ned was shocked, not so secretly thought it was cool. MJ was suspicious. MJ had actually heard of his birth mother, which was cool. 

He had an awkward three days with his billionaire parents and then felt normal again for three days back in Queens. 

"I guess I just keep doing this until everywhere I go is an equal amount of an awkward," Peter said to Dr. Kenarke. 

After two weeks he was feeling awkward everywhere he went. Goal achieved, he thought. 

He was at the Compound and Captain America was being incredibly obnoxiously polite and kind. Finally, Peter said, "Just, go ahead, break it down, like, say it."

Captain America smiled like 'aw boy you got me.' It was still obnoxious. He said, "When I first got to know Tony, that very first time in New York, we didn't really get along. We didn't make the best first impression on each other. And then, after, your mom, Pepper, she was talking to Tony and I found out you."

"Tony's dead son made you like him more?" Peter tried not to be exasperated. 

Captain America smiled again, like, yup, I know, big cliche. He said, "In a way. We've had a lot of tough moments, a few really hard times. But we're friends and he's a good man. If you let yourself get to know him, Tony's a good man. That's more rare than you might think."

"Okay," Peter said. 

"Okay," Cap said. "Now." They were at the shooting range. Cap said, "I don't know if you remember anything from when you were much younger, but it's good to know how to use all the tools at your disposal." He gestured at the three handguns laid out on the counter in front of Peter. 

"I don't remember," Peter said, without thinking. He probably didn't. 

"Then we'll need to show you," Cap said.

Peter reached for the large noise cancelling headphones hanging on the side. He said, "I've got webs for long distance. And close distance."

"And sometimes those run out," Cap said.

Peter meant to say that he hadn't run out that night with Toomes when he and Cap had taken the man and Tony's plane down, his webshooters had been damaged by the fight. So he didn't run out. But it was a fine hair to split. 

Peter sighed and put on the headphones. He picked up the first handgun on the right. Something in him adjusted his stance, checked if the gun was loaded and then aimed. Peter brought up his left hand to support his right and pulled the trigger. He made every shot. He adjusted again as he picked up the second gun with his left hand. Another round of perfect shots. He picked up the third gun with his right hand and didn't use his left to support the gun hand. When he finished with that one, he put it down and said, "Guess some part of me remembers." He wasn't thrilled about it. 

Cap nodded. "You don't have to go out armed but it's worth still training on it. You never know what could happen."

"Yup, yup," Peter said. It was super disturbing. He didn't consciously remember that much about his school, it was weird how well his body remembered. 

Now May and Tony and Pepper came to all his events. They even sat together at decathlon, track, and his very occasional gymnastics rec league events. He waved at all of them. He smiled. He did the right thing. 

"It's only been six weeks," Dr. Kenarke said. "It's okay to be off kilter. You probably will be for years."

"That's great to hear," Peter said. 

He thought he'd have less nightmares now that he sort of knew what he was flashing back to when he was freaking out. Fewer freak outs, not as frequent nightmares, anything that indicated the truth had set him free. It wasn't working out like that. He didn't want comfort from Tony or Pepper and he hated imposing on May after ruining their lives, basically. 

He called Ned and MJ a lot. 

Peter was sitting in the compound living room, hunkered down in one of the couches, playing on an old school gameboy. He'd found it in a dumpster and had rebuilt it. Wanda sat down next to him and said, "Hello."

"Hey," he said. 

She said, "I'm only mentioning this to you. Telling you it is an option. So if you want to do it, you can. Otherwise no one will know."

"Okay?" 

"Sometimes, I can help people remember."

He looked down his gameboy. He ground at a very tiny stain with the edge of his fingernail. He said, "Thank you."

"Is that a no thank you?" She had a tiny smile. 

"No. You can do it. But I was four, who remembers being four?"

Wanda said, "I remember a little. Those are very good memories."

She reached out and her fingertips pressed against his forehead and the back of his head. He inhaled and closed his eyes. Then he only saw red and he felt hollowed out. He couldn't think at all. 

He heard a snap and opened his eyes. Wanda was sitting way on the other side of the couch. She still had the same tiny smile. He said, "Did it work?" 

"I don't know," she said. "It might come back to you gradually." 

"Or not at all," he said. "Thank you." 

It didn't work, he thought. But some nights he would have nice, happy dreams. He would see his own hands and they were small and he was small and he sat in sunshine at tall windows or braided hair or had blocks. Those were nice. He had one night at Tony's, and when he woke up in the middle of the night he was happy. He was in a good place. 

And just like that everything turned and he was in some sort of flashback and he curled in on himself, shivering and crying. Along with everything else, he was so embarrassed. Worse, he heard knocking and then Tony was sitting on the bed. Tony was almost idly rubbing his back. Tony kept saying, "It's okay now. It's okay now." 

Peter calmed down enough to just hiccup and sniffle. Tony held out a glass of water which Peter took and could not stop wondering where it came from. Peter didn't have glasses in his room or in his attached bathroom. Had Tony brought it with him when he came in? 

Peter bit his lip and said, "I'm okay now." 

"Of course you are," Tony said. 

Peter put the glass down. Tony hugged him, kind of out of nowhere, and Peter felt embarrassed and mean for not being a good back from the dead son. He sighed and hugged Tony back. 

Tony said, "It would be, it won't hurt you to let people care. Whatever. I love you."

Peter swallowed. He patted Tony's arm inadequately. 

It had been two and a half months. He was in the backyard of the Stark Manhattan mansion. He closed his eyes and thought about going inside. It was late. Pepper worried. He didn't want to make her worry. 

Then he felt a hand in his hair and he heard Mary, his Mary say, "Hey, kiddo."

Peter sprang up and hugged her. He was actually a little taller than her. He let go. She looked good, in a good mood. He said, "Did you break into Iron Man's mansion to see me?"

"First, I didn't break in. Second, I actually came to apologize to your dad. Third, it's good to see you, you know?" She was sitting on the metal bench Peter had been on. He couldn't help himself, he laid down so he could put his head in her lap. Mary and May were still the only people he loved like that, that made him safe. 

He said, "I know you didn't know. Obviously."

She patted his head. She said, "Oh, you have so much faith in me. You're probably right." 

"How are the other kids?"

Mary said, "Mostly okay. I've been working on it." She laughed. "What would you do if I was ready to settle down? Now you get to split custody three ways. No way, Peter."

He said, "I would though. You're my mom."

"You're my kid," she said, warmly. "But, Peter, your actual parents are right in there. We were wrong, they always wanted you." 

"God, I know," he said. "I know. I barely remember. I'm always playing a part with them, and I'm doing it badly." He was rarely this honest, even with Dr. Kenarke. But it was his mom. She would never judge him. 

Mary hummed and patted his head. Then she said, "They don't want you to play any part. I know it feels that way. But they just love you. Like I love you, like May loves you. You're not failing anyone." 

Peter closed his eyes. "I guess. They hate using my name. I like my name. We picked it."

"Oh, we did, huh?" Her voice soothed him. "It's understandable on both sides. And it's not even sides. Just do your best. Be open."

"Fine," he said. 

She woke him up at some point. She said, "I love you, Peter, go to sleep in a bed."

"Please come back before I graduate high school," he said. 

She hugged him and then pushed him towards the house. His house, he thought. It was supposed to be his house. It should have been his house but the actual bad people in his history story took that away. 

Tony and Pepper always let MJ and Ned come over wherever they were. Sometimes Ned brought Betty which made things sort of weird since she didn't know Peter was Spider-man. "Suddenly you want to tell everyone," MJ said. She could read him really well. 

"Weren't you always telling me to tell people?" He was tinkering with his gameboy. Ned and Betty were on the couch, flipping through channels. Tony had all the channels. Literally, Peter was fairly sure they had channels from Uganda and Singapore. 

MJ said, "I told you to tell Liz and May. Not everyone. Betty's great, but I don't know if she's on that level. Don't go busting it out because it makes your life easier." 

"Fine," Peter said. "Fine." 

After they left, after another mostly okay dinner with Tony and Pepper, Peter once again hunkered down on the couch with his gameboy and his phone open to YouTube, looking for information about games. Tony sat down next to him. "Let me look," Tony said. 

"Sure," Peter said and passed the gameboy over. 

Tony pulled out some tools from his pocket and popped the thing open. "What do you want to do with it? Get it working like it did, improve on it, use it for something else?"

Peter considered. Those were good questions. He said, "I already got it working like it used to. I found some games to play on it."

"Dumpster diving, right?" Tony was already squinting at the insides. 

"Yup," Peter said. "I was thinking about improving it. Better screen, better quality graphics. But not too good. Retro is fun."

Tony nodded. "We should do this in the lab. Pep'll kill me if we stain this couch again." 

"Okay, cool," Peter said. This wasn't so hard. He could be open. He could.


End file.
